What does it really mean to love like Jesus? It’s a question that challenges us at our core, pushing beyond the comfortable boundaries of human affection into something far more transformative and costly.

The command Jesus gave his followers wasn’t just about being nice to people or showing kindness when convenient. In John 13:34, he said, “A new command I give you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” That small phrase—”as I have loved you”—changes everything. It’s not merely an instruction to love, but a call to love in the same way Jesus loved.

The Revolutionary Nature of This Love

At first glance, this might not seem like a new command at all. After all, the Old Testament instructed the Israelites in Leviticus 19:18 to “love your neighbour as yourself.” But Jesus elevated this command to an entirely new level, transforming both its scope and its standard.

The old command limited “neighbour” to fellow Jews—people who looked like you, spoke like you, and believed like you. Jesus shattered those boundaries. His love drew together people from every race, language, and background. The Great Commission makes this clear: we’re called to make disciples of all nations, not just people like us.

Living in diverse communities presents us with a beautiful opportunity to demonstrate this expansive love. Consider the simple act of welcoming someone from a different culture on a bus, or thanking a cleaning worker at a shopping mall. These small moments of recognition and kindness reflect the heart of Jesus, who saw and valued every person.

The Standard That Humbles Us

When we examine what Jesus’ love actually looks like, we’re confronted with an almost impossibly high standard. First Corinthians 13 paints the picture: love is patient and kind; it doesn’t envy or boast; it’s not proud, rude, or self-seeking; it’s not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs.

Now try a challenging exercise: substitute your own name for the word “love” in those verses. “I am patient. I am kind. I do not envy. I am not easily angered. I keep no record of wrongs.” Does it ring true? For most of us, the honest answer is a humbling “no.”

Yet this is precisely the love Jesus calls us to demonstrate. When we face irritating neighbours, difficult coworkers, or even thoughtless comments from strangers, our response reveals whether we’re truly loving as Jesus loved.

One ordinary afternoon, after preparing a message on 1 Corinthians 13, a woman arrived home thinking about what it really means to love “as Christ loved us.” The words were still fresh in her mind: “Love is not easily angered… it keeps no record of wrongs.”

As she got to her house she saw an ambulance parked directly across her driveway, blocking her garage. She had an appointment to get to and needed to move her car. Looking more closely, she realized the ambulance crew were attending to her next-door neighbour.

She walked over to the neighbour’s house, not wanting to interrupt, but needing to ask if the ambulance could be moved slightly so she could get her car out. As she stepped inside, one of the first responders looked up, saw her, and without knowing why she was there, muttered: “Nosy neighbour.”

The words stung. In that brief moment she felt a surge of indignation. He had misjudged her motives completely. She wasn’t there to gawk; she was simply trying, as politely as possible, to solve a practical problem.

She had a split second to decide how to respond. A sharp comeback rose quickly to the surface of her mind. She could have snapped back, defended herself, or corrected him in front of everyone. Inside, she was upset and hurt.

Instead, she swallowed the urge to retaliate and answered calmly: she explained that she actually needed to get her car out for an appointment and was wondering whether it might be possible to shift the ambulance just a little. The first responder moved the vehicle, and the situation was resolved outwardly.

But inwardly, the battle wasn’t over. Long after she drove away, those two words — “nosy neighbour” — kept replaying in her mind. She found herself rehearsing the moment, thinking of all the things she could have said, feeling the injustice of being wrongly judged.

That’s where the real battleground of Christlike love opened up. Nobody else could see it. From the outside, she had handled the situation well. But inside, she knew she was still angry, still nursing the wound, still tempted to keep a record of that wrong.

Later, she took it to God in prayer. She confessed her anger and asked the Lord to forgive her and to help her see that first responder as he saw him — a tired, under-pressure worker who had probably seen too much pain that day, and who had spoken carelessly in the moment.

Choosing to let it go, to forgive silently, to refuse to replay or retell the story in a bitter way — that was where “love is not easily angered” moved from words on a page to something lived in the heart.

That is the quiet, unseen place where Christlike love is forged: not just in what we say or don’t say in the moment, but in what we do with the hurt afterwards — whether we allow resentment to grow, or we bring it to Jesus and choose forgiveness. The internal struggle to respond with grace rather than anger.

The Power Source We Cannot Ignore

Here’s the good news: we’re not expected to manufacture this kind of love through sheer willpower. The command is new not only in its pattern but also in its power source. Jesus himself revealed the secret in John 15: “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.”

Jesus loved by abiding in his Father. We can love others by abiding in Jesus.

The imagery of the vine and branches makes this crystal clear. A branch severed from the vine withers and dies. It cannot produce fruit on its own. Similarly, we cannot love as Jesus loved if we’re not connected to him, drawing our life and strength from him moment by moment.

Abiding isn’t mystical or complicated. It’s the daily, hourly practice of asking, “Lord, what do you want me to do? Who do you want me to speak to? Where do you want me to go?” It’s committing our plans to God and remaining open to his redirection. When we live this way, we’ll find ourselves in divine appointments—meeting the people God wants us to meet, positioned to share his love in practical ways.

The Cost of Love Without Limits

Jesus’ love was sacrificial. We celebrate this truth whenever we remember the cross—that ultimate expression of love without limits. While most of us won’t be asked to literally die for others, the principle remains: there’s no demand too great, no sacrifice too costly, when love is genuine.

This love also requires understanding. Jesus knew his disciples intimately. He lived with them day in and day out for three years, seeing them at their best and worst. He knew Peter would deny him, that they’d all abandon him in his darkest hour. He saw their slowness to understand, their blind spots, and their cowardice. Yet he still loved them. He still died for them.

Real love doesn’t wait until people are perfect or convenient to love. It sees people as they truly are—flaws and all—and chooses to love anyway. Whether in marriages, friendships, or Christian community, we never truly know people until we’ve lived alongside them. And that’s when love becomes most costly and most real.

The Essential Element: Forgiveness

Perhaps the most challenging aspect of Jesus’ love is its forgiving nature. The disciples failed him repeatedly, yet Jesus held nothing against them. No failure was too great to forgive.

This truth is revolutionary: love without forgiveness cannot survive. Every relationship faces disappointments, hurts, and misunderstandings. Without forgiveness, love shrivels and dies. But when we choose to forgive as Jesus forgave us—continually, completely, without keeping score—love endures.

Making Love Visible

For many people, the clearest picture of Jesus’ love comes not from sermons or books, but from watching Christians interact with one another. How do we treat each other at church gatherings? Do we welcome newcomers warmly? Do we notice when someone is struggling and reach out?

One observer watched a group of young people at a public garden, so impressed by how they treated each other that she approached them to comment. They turned out to be from a local church. Their love was so evident that a stranger noticed and was drawn to ask about it.

This is the power of loving as Jesus loved. It becomes a witness more compelling than words.

An Invitation to Begin

The standard is high, but the power is available. Through the Holy Spirit, we can love with patience, kindness, and forgiveness. We can welcome the stranger, encourage the discouraged, and forgive those who hurt us.

Start small. Ask God each morning to show you one person to love that day. Join a small group where you can practice loving and being loved in authentic community. Volunteer to welcome people at church. Look for opportunities to serve in practical ways.

The world is watching, desperate to see what Jesus’ love really looks like. Will they see it in us?